• dollar spent (dealing with government is expensive!)
  
• task accomplished
  
• load lifted
  
• step closer
  

So far we have:

• purchased our plane tickets
  
• sent off for passports (please pray for quick processing and mercy -- it is possible there could be an issue with Nia's)
  
• sent off our packet of documents for the Philippine Consulate the authorize/authenticate (he'll mail them back with his "stamp of approval" so when we get there, we should have a relatively smooth process for obtaining visas)
  
• shipped off 3 enormous boxes of household goods/food/things that remind us of "home"
• purchased nearly all the midwife items I will need (stethescopes, etc., scrubs, birth books ...
• learned a fair amount of words in Cebuano
• ordered some super great Christian tracts in Cebuano (here it is in English)
• signed up for the Samaritans Ministries health cost-share program
• jumped through some pretty hilarious governmental hoops
• drank more coffee than I have in years (Alicia only... Ben's been doing this for a few years now! ha!)
• finished one college course and are halfway through the second
• learned. a. lot.
• seen God do incredible feats!!!

We still have to:

• buy return tickets? (just for processing the visas then we can return them for a refund... gah.)
• sell almost every last thing we own
• speak to our church and different ministry groups
• gather donations for our birth center
• get typhoid immunizations
• figure out the older children's school curriculum for the next few years
• pack 14   50 pound totes/luggage (when ya put it like that... yikes!)
• get CPR certified and hopefully Neonatal Resuscitation Certified (Alicia)
• see lots of family 
• GO, already!

It all feels so hypothetical. But all these days... then the day we leave will be here.

I now read the stories of girls gone before me and girls going with me... much younger girls.

They are 18. They are 20.

I am where I am at the time that I am. That God's glory would be manifest in my obedience at 30. 

"And who knows but that you have come to your [R]oyal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 

--oh my heart--

I have been purposed for this precise moment in the history of the world. Divine appointments established for a 30-year-old-happily-married-mother-of-five and her family in 2013-2015 in the Philippines.  

This magnificent life I have lived. The five marvelous children. The love of a strong and faithful husband. And now, to not go this alone... but to go with.

To get to step ten, one must begin at step one. 

And who knew?  But that we would be in the Philippines at such a time as this...

When all the days begin to feel as if they are one... a day without end...  and we find ourselves, again, heading down the road to the mercy of those who are only concerned with the end of their own days, our minds and hearts and enthusiasm begin to flail and kick and grasp.

When the clock says 7:45 and our list has only seemed to grow and five little birds are chirping for dinner and nothing sounds sweeter than the pillow and no quick escape or moment to breathe...

When an attempt at order and plan is overcome with laundry and error -- dejection threatens.

Or is the perspective all wrong? Or are our eyes unfixed on Glory? Or is there purpose in things greuling?

When they let us down, and things become more complicated than less, and heart begins to faint. When time flies and things remain undone. Generosity is short and frustration is great.  And when sleep evades the weary.

Only one thing remedies: The Word. That I would return and find the grace I need for just today... Will I remember that there is no better use of my minutes than surrendering my audience with the county clerk for an audience of Him. He rights wrongs and causes all things to work together. He calls and fulfills and orders and gives rest.

He is the beauty amidst the mess.

He is the road to the joy-filled life.

Strangely (to me), one of the most frequent phrases I've heard (not sure about Ben) is "What would possess you to do that/go there?" I didn't expect that question, as I thought it to be a bit obvious...

LOVE is what possessed us... 
more specifically, GOD'S LOVE. 

He's given us each a unique passion and talent for a single purpose... that we would use our giftings, solely, to bring Life to where there is much death. 
And that call just happens to be two-fold in the Philippines.

We may not be able to physically change every Filipino's circumstance. I may not be able to help every Filipino woman deliver her baby safely. But this we can do: give to all those we come into contact with a hope beyond this life. A hope for a place where things are no longer hard or hopeless. A hope for beautiful Life.

Jesus overcame death that we might have that  life -- the G.O.S.P.E.L. (Seriously. Check it out.)

Call us. Text us. Facebook us. Whatever -- if you want to talk about it, we want to talk about it with you! If you were the only person left on the planet, there is absolutely nothing He would have done differently. He did it all for you.

Do you want to matter? Know Jesus.
Do you want to live with purpose? Know Jesus.
Do you have a sadness inside that you just can't shake? KNOW JESUS.
Are you afraid of dying? You won't have to be if you know Jesus.
Jesus is the answer.
For everything.

Yeah, do you want to really live? The answer is Jesus. He is The Road to Life.

So! in case you, also, were wondering... 

Love
Love
Love 
Love

that's what possessed us.